Pumpkins are sooo boring. Just because some people are able to turn them into 1970s era remarkable works of art, for the most part they are dumb and messy and they get all rotten by Thanksgiving and sometimes little teenage bastards take them off your porch and throw them in the street because they’re getting pubes and don’t know how to feel about that. NO ONE LIKES PUMPKIN CARVING… that is,

UNTIL NOW!!!!!

With the invention of Pornkins, pumpkins that you can carve into various sexual positions, you can finally get a boner from porch decor! Invite your friends over and watch them try and figure out what the f*ck you were thinking! Enjoy the look on grandma’s face when she realizes that the interesting pattern on your table centerpiece is in fact a guy spreading his asscheeks! It’s fun for the whole family!*

This Halloween, say goodbye to boring old Jack-o-lanterns and say hello to Jack-o-slam-hers with Pornkins! (NSFW)

* Maybe not.