Somehow, despite the extra day last weekend, we all came back to work with a solid “where the hell did that weekend even go?!” feeling, and I realized it had to have been because I didn’t post my weekly dose of things you have to do this weekend. It absolutely explains the lack of fulfillment and sense of worthlessness that came on Tuesday morning. So, to ensure that you don’t feel my same pain this coming Monday, here are BCU’s top 3 things you HAVE to do this weekend.

1) Check out a haunted house

The last two weekends before Halloween bring HERDS of teenagers to the doors of local haunted houses (and as we know there is nothing more obnoxious than teenagers), so this is the last time you can go if you want to experience the nostalgic fun of a haunted house without the high pitched screams of 15 year old girls and the sight of horny couples groping each other in line. At this site, you can locate your nearest haunted house with just a couple clicks! Protip: grab a couple drinks beforehand to enhance the hilarity of grown adults whose job it is to dress up like a dead clown (but not too many or you might throw up in the twisty tube).

2) Go watch Jackass 3D

If you’re looking for something fun to do that could potentially make you lose your lunch, Jackass 3D is the way to go. Guaranteed to be full of gross-out displays, painful stunts and ‘thank God that’s not me’ laughter, this movie came out today and if you’re looking for something to do this cold weekend,  it’s sure to make for a fun night out with friends.

3) Check out a green club

The Greenhouse nightclub in New York City is pretty unique: it uses waterless urinals, bamboo walls and floors, thousand of low-energy LED lights, and even clothes its bartenders in a special environmentally conscious material. It’s just one of many clubs in the world going green in an attempt to fight climate change and pollution. Of course, there will always debate about whether or not Global Warming is real. It’s understandable, because why would you believe what an overwhelming amount of collegiate trained scientists would say when a radio host tells you that it’s all just a liberal ploy to make money for elitist hippies, AMIRITE? Just kidding. Needless to say, what could be wrong with hitting a night on the town at a club that is 100% self-sustained? If you didn’t bring home some booty from the club itself, you could always use it as a pick up line later, as in, “yeah, so as I was telling my friend at the 100% SELF-SUSTAINING club that I drove to in my NEW NISSAN LEAF after I saved a PACK OF WHALES (I don’t think pack is right), you, my eco-friendly love, are totally sexy.”