It’s been almost a week since our most recent naked celebrity scandal (I don’t know if you remember, but it was a certain elderly gentleman and his Vienna sausage) and I was starting to worry. What if I never got to see some celebrities’ junk that I never wanted to see in the first place ever again?! But never fear, because you know the phrase – “when it rains, it pours,” and although it took a couple days, today it is a damn hailstorm of celeb junkshots. We’ve got your round up here.

1) Kanye West

According RadarOnline, the self-described king of rap has some shots floating around from the MySpace age of (and this is a quote) “the singer’s genitals provocatively exposed from his boxer briefs.” Maybe I’m wrong here but there is nothing provocative about junk hanging out of boxers. That’s what happens when dudes fall asleep drunk and it’s the opposite of provocative, unless you mean it’s provoking me to flick someone’s balls back up into their stomachs.

2) Tila Tequila

The 3 foot 1 star of… um… something, maybe, has apparently lost a battle with an ex to stop the release of a sex tape. To which I say HA HA, I BET. I’m sure a woman with a shame-threshold higher than that of the entire cast of the Bad Girls Club would try and stop the one thing that could bring her 15 minutes of fame to a startling and unfortunate 16. I’m SURE. Especially when said “woman” walks around red carpets licking dildos. I’m SURE.

3) Tiger Woods

I know, old news, right? But apparently, porn star Devon James (the one that looks like Neanderthal Barbie) swears she’s got sex tape footage of the two, and her producer/husband (classy runs in the family, obvs) has created the not-at-all-played-out tagline, “Tiger Woods playing all the holes.” The sex tape is supposed to drop tomorrow, despite no one in the world believing it exists.