Despite the fact that this week was a full 5 day week, and the last two weeks were 4 day weeks, somehow the past 5 days went by really, really fast. And here we are, at Friday, and I have to come up with a TTYHTDTW on the spot and I’m sleepy and feel like I just woke up on a Monday morning. So in honor of this joke of a week that didn’t feel like a week at all, this Friday’s TTYHTDTW is going to be a joke, too. I give you “The Three Things You Should Definitely Not Do This Weekend.”

1) Use JuggaLove, or any of the many other completely ridiculous dating sites out there.

ultimate sign of class

After coming across SaladMatch.com, a parody dating site from the JustSalad franchise, I thought, “wow, this is ridiculous… I wonder if there are any other ridiculous dating sites out there.” Silly, silly me. There are SO MANY of them. First off- JuggaLove.com: “a dating site for the wicked,” it says. More like dating site for dudes with tattoos drawn by 5-year-old blind children. Also Vampersonals, which is exactly what it sounds like: pale, chubby girls looking for their own Edward Cullen amongst a sea of horny goth dudes hoping a nighttime showing of of New Moon will get them laid.

2) Attempt any sort of feat like that of Adam from Man Vs Food

gross. via imgonnakillhim.com

In his most recent episode, Adam goes to Atlanta and has chicken and waffles with Gladys Knight. And then he eats 11 pounds of pizza. And then his heart, stomach, and lower intestine decide they’ve had enough and escape through their respective emergency exits. Just kidding about that last part although I predict that will happen sooner than later. This show makes a mockery of our American stereotype of being fat wasteful hoarders with more food than we know what to do with, so be a grown-up this weekend and don’t treat your fragile internal organs like a wood chipper.

3) Watch the Packers Vs Bills game

The Bleacher Report prediction for this game is 38 – 13. When I mentioned this game around the BCU offices it was met with a collective pity-filled “aww” because the Bills are just that – pitiful. Last week’s opener saw their pre-season star, rookie CJ Spiller, only rushing for 6 yards. Eesh. Despite losing running back Ryan Grant and performing less than stellar in last weeks game against the Eagles, the Packers should no problem using the Bills like a heavy duty Swiffer Wet Jet.

Can someone use Sports-Grammar-Check on that for me and let me know if I’m wrong? If not — have a GREAT weekend, and don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!