First off– we don’t personally have a huge problem with Mr. Francis. I mean, no one seems to have a problem with FemSkin, or sexing up toddlers, or the Brazzers franchise (super NSFW, duhh), and each of these businesses do nothing to further the female plight in life. Joe Francis took a worldwide affinity for college girl boobs and made it accessible for the low low price of $9.99 for two DVDs not that I’ve ever seen one, although the quality of both video and DVD case are worse than that of a high school ska band’s music video, NOT that I’ve ever seen one.

HOWEVER, If I were to predict a G-list celebrity who would end up having an ex-employee write a tell-all that painted him as a slimy douche-bag and also outed the drug problems of a famous socialite, my first choice would have been right on target: Joe “Girls Gone Wild” Francis. According to Gawker, the sleazy-home-video impresario is attempting to block the sale of a book by his former employee, Ryan Simkin, called FLASH! Bars, Boobs, and Busted: 5 Years on the Road with Girls Gone Wild.

Unfortunately, 4th Street Media (the book’s publisher) has released a seething 20-page motion to stop his complaints that is actually almost as funny as Joe Francis calling himself an “entrepreneur and philanthropist”. In the motion, they call Joe everything from a “sick bastard” to a “juvenile smut-peddler,” to “Douchebag of the Decade,” which is kind of awesome.

I mean, after ten years of making money off drunk girls with low self-esteem, partying and sleeping with numerous celebrities and pioneering one of the most successful yet lowest quality (not that I’ve ever seen one) porn businesses, I think it’s time to take the good with the bad and let the book hit the shelves.

It’s not like we’re gonna be shocked when we hear that you ordered 4 8-balls of coke and 20 hits of ecstasy for Paris Hilton which she traveled with by WTF SHOVING THEM IN HER VAGINA ALL AT ONE TIME?

PRE-ORDERING THIS BOOK NOW.