Calling all mathematicians! The world needs your help! I’m sure you’ve been feeling neglected and overlooked these days what with the biologists and physicists getting all the nerd-fame and nerd-glory from the oil spill and the LHC, so I have a job for you.

I need you to figure out the equation that will solve the mysterious conundrum of HOW THE HELL BETTY WHITE IS SO FAMOUS AGAIN?

I mean, let’s go over the facts here: She is like, 200 years old. She started her career on the RADIO, that is how OLD she is. She went on to play recurring roles in several ladies’ comedy shows in the 1970s and 80s. And then she disappeared from the public eye, sparing for a few guest roles on shows like Joey the Friends spin-off.

And now, she has blown up her career to unbelievable proportions. Although the remainder of the cast of her main hit show is dead (because of the OLD), she is hosting SNL, getting a brand new sitcom, and now it being immortalized in her own calendar.

Mathematicians: your job is to figure out the algorithm or equation or plussing and minusing that leads to an antique of a human being to gain more fame than they’ve ever known in what is likely to be the last 20 years of their life.

GET ON IT.