You know how sometimes you have those moments when a little voice in your head that tells you to do weird, creepy stuff? Like open your neighbors mail or look in someone’s window? But you don’t do it because that would be really creepy and would probably get you arrested?

Sometimes, when you’ve been broken up with, that little “crazy filter” gets turned off, and you start doing totally nuts, balls to the wall stuff to your ex, and everyone who is witness to it feels this weird mixture of repulsion and sympathy cause they “feel really bad” but also you are “f***ing nuts.” Here are a few of the craziest things exes do.

5) The endless phone calls

The thing about breaking up now versus breaking up in the 1500s is that nowadays you have 700 extra ways to get in contact with your ex.  Phone calls, texting, BBM, Facebook, and probably some even MORE ways that the youngins are thinking up every day. Back in the 1500s you had to physically stand by their door if you ever wanted to see them (re: #1 on the list), now you can sit on your couch and STILL continually be in contact with them.

4) The pretend “lets be friends” deal

No, you can not be friends. Maybe in like, 12 years, when you realize that “hey, other than the part where I broke your heart into  seven million pieces you liked me, right? Wanna grab a beer?” but until that time, nope. They will SAY they want to be friends but what they MEAN is they want to cry at you.

3) The angry thing

The angry thing is sort of paired up with the phone call part, because at some point the breaker becomes a “stupid selfish ass” and the breakee is “seriously under appreciated you stupid selfish ass.” The angry part lasts a long, long time.

2) The liar

Once you’ve gotten to the “acceptance” stage of the break up, where you realize that no, it’s not a joke, and yes, they don’t like you anymore, some decide to take it to the lying level. Some crazy lies we’ve heard: they’re on their death bed, they’re pregnant, and they’re “seriously going to drive this car off a cliff if you don’t come back to me.”

1) BREAKING AND ENTERING

Because nothing says “I miss you” like committing a felony!