To our most adorably senile George Lucas and Steven Speilberg,

We’ve brought you here today to ask…nay, beg you to stop what you’re doing. We’ve heard rumors you’re nearing the end of writing another Indiana Jones movie, the fifth in the series, and we’re just about in tears at the thought of it. I mean…. c’mon. How much further can you take this franchise considering your last film had like… aliens, and the kid from Even Stevens swinging from vines like an awkward pubescent orangutan,  and pretty much the worst CGI I’ve seen in recent history… seriously:  where else could you possibly go with this?

Our only hope is that hey, remember how horrificly unwatchable Star Wars Episode I was? And how like, II and III were sorta kinda maybe bearable if watched while a bit intoxicated? I mean, if you could make Indiana Jones 5 (Oh god, it pains me to even say that) with some vague reminiscence of the original trilogy, I guess I might rent it on NetFlix or borrow it from a friend who pirated it? Might?

However, if you plan on taking our favorite childhood sci-fi film and tying it to the back of a truck and dragging it through the metaphorical dirt that convinced you Jar Jar Binks wasn’t a terrible idea…

For our sake: PLEASE. DON’T. DO IT.

Signed,

Your tragically loyal fans

More sadness @ ONTD