In order to better serve you, our loyal BCU readers, we frequently check to see which search terms are bringing new readers to the site. They nearly always consist of “booty call,” “hot women,” and “onlinebootycall.” However, every once in a while comes a gem that makes the staff giggle like school girls. Here are a couple of our faves from 2010 so far.

1. “My mom wants a booty call”

How this search term was typed into a search engine baffles me. Was this a kind, understanding son or daughter who just wanted to see their mother happy? Or was it a frightened and grossed out adult wondering why their 80 year old mom was having gentlemen callers over at all hours? The possibilities are endless!

2. “Female body builders pissing”

I have… no words. Not only for the person who typed this string of words, but for the search engine that decided BCU was the place to direct these creeps.

3. “Looking for a booty call with a pregnant woman”

This one is interesting. While I’m quite sure I’ve read about the “pregnant woman” fetish, I always assumed it was like a husband/wife thing that ended once the baby was ejected forcefully out of the womb. Apparently, though,  you can actually seek this fetish extra-maritally and our blog is the place to do it.

4. “Naked basketball players”

Good to know that some ladies have been reading BCU, although I don’t imagine a 7 foot, gangly b-baller (Pau Gasol comes to mind) as my first choice for elaborate fantasies. [Sidenote: has anyone noticed he totally looks like Beaker from the Muppets?]

5. “How to hide beer on Spring Break”

So, we did a piece on hiding beer in your office, and we did a couple different articles on Spring Break, but we for sure never implied that we could train you how to hide beer on Spring Break. This brings to mind 16 year old high schoolers headed to Cancun. Disclaimer: we do not support underage drinking!