Back before cell phones and the internet, booty calls had to be made over land line phones or (god forbid) face to face. Now that it’s 2010, I imagine the percentage of booty calls that are made face to face has significantly declined, probably to like… zero. However, a downside of using technology to hit up your booty call is the VERY real possibility of being misunderstood. There is no subtext in texting, so you’ve got to tread lightly. Here are BCU’s rules for booty call texting.

1) Get the initial text out early

Please, please, don’t send a “preemptive” booty call text at 11AM. It reeks of desperation and even if they don’t have plans for the night, they will probably make some up. However, to ensure that your booty call doesn’t make plans with his/her backup booty, send a text at 9 or 10 at night asking their plans for the night, that way you can gauge what your chances are. If they’re sick in bed, you’ve might have to dip into your reserves tonight.

2) Don’t beat around the bush

While the initial text shouldn’t say, “Booty call?” after a hey what’s up, or a what are you up to tonight, don’t bother chatting about school or work or your grandmother’s arthritis. Assuming a booty call has happened between you two before, you both know what’s going down here. No need to pretend to be interested in small talk. Make your plans and then get on with your night. It’s the anonymity that makes booty calls fun.

3)  Don’t be too explicit

While you both know the direction the night is going, getting too dirty while just in the pre-hook up texting stage is a big ol’ no-no. Once the plans are in motion, don’t send more than maybe 3 text messages throughout the night, otherwise you risk ruining the fun of the unplanned booty call. Just showing up ready for action is sexier than detailing every moment in awkward, misspelled text messages.

4) Keep emoticons to a minimum

The occasional wink is flirty and suggestive. ;) A wink or smile after every sentence is irritating and feels a bit like you’re flirting with a 6th grader.  This is fact.

5) Give up the ghost

No response in two hours? Stop. Texting. It’s not gonna happen. All you’re doing by texting in 10 minute intervals is making your self look like a head case. A desperate, unattractive head case.