A mis-angled thrust or a hitting your head on the wall – those are the kinds of painful sex stories we’ve all had. Then there are stories like the ones from Reddit, below, that are making us feel like our genitals are crawling back up side us in fear.
“I was in the middle of nowhere in West Texas getting a blow job outside from a woman I barely knew. It turned out I was laying on top of a fire ant bed. But I didn’t want to risk the blow job, so I took those stings as long as I could, trying to make it to the end. The ants won. We left, and I was in agony for quite a while.”
“When I was pregnant, I was taking a nap, and my husband was making jalapeño poppers. He washed his hands and came into the bedroom and spooned me and then started trying to rub/finger me. It was fine at first until I started feeling the burning. Turns out, washing your hands isn’t enough, and the jalapeño juice was now on my bits, and everything was on fire. He felt so bad.”
“My frenulum broke (for those who don’t know, it’s the little spot of skin that holds your foreskin up). I was hitting it from the back, and all of a sudden, there was a sharp pain and lots of blood. Not wanting to believe my eyes, I asked my girl at the time if it was her. She laughed at me for some unholy reason and said, ‘Hahaha, no’ as the blood literally pooled over in my hands and onto the floor.”
“I brought my girlfriend to such an orgasm that I got a knee to the face. Black eye, fractured lower orbital, broken glasses. That was a real fun one to explain to my parents when they got the optometrist’s bill.”
“I was getting some backseat car head near the woods when I noticed a dark spot on my sexual device (my dick). I ignored it at first, but when it didn’t move or disappear, I told my ex-girlfriend to stop while I checked it out. She tells me it’s a birthmark, and we argued for a minute because I know what my own meat looks like. After close examination under my phone flashlight, it became apparent that I had a dick tick. My ex had been sucking on a dick tick — I pulled that sucker out, and she kept going.”
