In a post-pandemic world, if you’re just getting back into the casual dating pool, you may feel uncomfortable or awkward and just unsure how to “seal the deal” when you feel the sexual tension tightening between you and a date.

Do you just “go for it”? How do you manage consent? Are there any off-limits words? Over at VICE, they have a few tips to help you hook up – without anyone feeling awkward or pressured.

Talk about sex outside of the bedroom first

“Plenty of people think that hookups “just happen.” But Darnell said it’s useful to make a point of discussing your turn-ons and expectations with your potential partner. Talking about these things outside of the bedroom and well in advance of your actual hookup helps minimize the risk of confusion, hurt feelings, and violated boundaries. “

Set the mood before sex

“Be aware of—and do your best to create—the right mood for making your move. According to Deerhart, this is all about engaging your and your partner’s senses. You may want to dim the lights in the room, light some candles, and put on a sexy playlist. It’s also a good idea to take your laptop off your bed and put your phone on silent so they don’t distract you or your partner before you even get down to it. “

Read your partner’s body language

“Darnell advised paying attention to body language, which can give you both go and stop signals that your partner isn’t verbalizing. 

Smiling, leaning in, eye contact, and mirroring can all be signs of attraction, but you should also pay attention to clues that your potential partner is uncomfortable and uninterested, like not making eye contact or turning their body away. “

Be direct and appreciative when you make a move—and never pressure your partner

“When initiating sex, a lot of people are concerned about crossing boundaries and pressuring people into things they may not want to do. Those are good concerns to have, said Deerhart, but they shouldn’t come at the expense of making your intentions clear. “We need to be direct,” said Deerhart.

He suggested leading with honesty and telling your partner how they make you feel. For example, you can say something like, “I’m feeling really excited about being with you right now. I want to show that to you physically, and I wonder how that lands with you.” ‘