We all remember SNL’s classic “Doin it on My Twin Bed” — but if you really are headed home for the holidays and wanna get it on (maybe with a mask??), VICE has a few tips for knockin boots at your mama’s house.

MAKE SURE THEY’RE DISTRACTED – We love the idea to start a movie with the parents, hopefully something loud and engrossing like INCEPTION, then sneaking off for some sexy time while the volume keeps any moans hidden.

MAKE STAYING SILENT SEXY – It can be a fun twist to your bedroom shenanigans to make sure your partner has to keep their sounds whisper quiet – may we even recommend a hand over the mouth? Hot!

“OR; MAKE A RUCKUS” – Point speakers with music or a goofy TV show towards your door if you need to hide the dulcet tones of hookin up. (We’re not sure how hot we’d get with Dwight Shrute in the background, but desperate times call for desperate measures)

DO SOME MAKESHIFT SOUNDPROOFING – One user recommends getting off the potentially-loud bed all together and dropping your mattress to the floor for practically silent sexytimes. Brilliant!

LEAVE THE HOUSE – Hey – nothing like a little nostalgia at the holidays, and sneaking around is just that. Whether you’re hitting a hotel or just the backseat, the sneakiness is a little bit sexy!