The problem with being a guy on a dating site (or anywhere, really), is that men often outnumber women. This leads to women receiving tons of messages from guys, ranging from “hey wut up” to something so vulgar I couldn’t possibly type it here. So, how do you get the beautiful woman on OBC to notice you out of a crowd of dozens or even hundreds of messages? It’s not rocket-science, just follow these three steps:

ACTUALLY read her profile

I’m not gonna play dumb and pretend you’re not messaging her because her photo is BANGIN’. But if you send her a generic message that seems to show you didn’t even take the time to skim the 200 non-photo words in her profile, she’s gonna picture you like all the other dudes – superficial, horny, and dumb. So – read her profile, pick out something that you could riff on, and put it front and center in your message. If she says she works at a vet’s office, maybe say you’re impressed she can work with peoples’ sick pets – it would break your heart to see animals in pain. If she’s a water sports fan, mention something like, “I tried to water ski once and failed miserably – any tips?” Make it apparent that you’re not only a good listener (ahem, reader), but that you actually care enough to ask about her. Unlike the other dudes rapid-firing three word messages into her inbox, you’ll stand out. And that’s the first step to getting a date.

Whether it’s her yoga headstand at Hawai’i Volcanoes National Park, or the concert pics with her friends, you can instantly figure out what she’s into and the kind of lifestyle she has (trust me, girls put more thought into their pictures than us guys). Is she a tatted, desert / river-rat who goes line-dancing every weekend in her shit-kickers? If you’re not into that, don’t even waste your time no matter how hot she is.

Let’s be honest, some profiles are all selfies and can’t be read beyond “attention-seeker,” which isn’t always true. So, if you must compliment her on looks alone, then find a specific trait that you honestly like about her. Keep it simple and focused. It could be her hair, eyes, lips, or even her style. Don’t be creepy with the compliment though — there is a fine line that’s easy to cross. For example, “Love your hair” is OK, whereas, “I’d love to wash your hair” is probably too much for the first message no matter how funny you try to make it. 

Use words – REAL words. 

In this day and age, we’re busy people. We have places to go, things to do, IG stories to share. This leads to an overwhelming percentage of people resorting to “text speak” – shortening words to abbreviations and single letters – more often than not. If you want to send a quick message to your friend to meet you at a local bar to watch a game, “c u at cal’s 4 nite game?” that’s all fine and dandy. But if you’re sending a message to a woman you’ve never met on a dating site with the express intention of getting her attention and attraction, acting like you don’t even have the time or effort to type full words is a total turn-off. 

Follow Up!

We’ve  seen this situation happen countless times: A guy sends a girl a great message. She’s into it, and responds accordingly. Day passes. Another day passes. A week passes, and then the guy signs back on to check his messages, and meanwhile the lovely lady has moved on to another guy who is a little more prudent with his responses. So, treat your OBC inbox like any other e-mail inbox. Check it frequently… and better yet, use mobile version of your preferred dating site so you can check it on the go. I see you, guy playing Candy Crush for the 100th time today – why not spend a few of those bored minutes sending and replying to messages that could get you laid instead? 

We’re still knee deep in the pandemic, but there’s light at the end of the tunnel. Don’t let your dating skills get rusty! Keep checking back here for more tips in the coming weeks. And don’t forget to use your OBC account to flirt and exchange pics with local singles in the meantime!