Well HERE’S some good news for you folks who haven’t typed a word into your phone since 2012 – according to a new study, people who use emojis when texting are more likely to have sex than their non-emoji using peers. Furthermore, women who use them claim they reach orgasm faster.  Talk about shocked cat confused face dead skull!

Via Jezebel:

Match.com conducted a study of 5,600 singles in America and found a correlation between emoji use and more robust sex lives. If that sounds ridiculous, that’s probably because you don’t use emoji when you text. While the study didn’t exactly find that those of us who eschew the use of happy faces and embarrassed mice in typed conversations have a stick emoji up our butt symbol, Dr. Helen Fisher, a cultural anthropologist who helped lead the study says that emoji can help express sentiment when regular words that aren’t a tiny picture of someone painting their nails “fall flat.”

Welp, I guess this means it’s time to finally go through the emoji alphabet and start becoming fluent in picture talking, because apparently that’s what it takes to get some booty in this world we live in. Luckily, those of us who are archaic old men who prefer word-texting can cling to one thing:

The study also found that 54per cent of single women and 36per cent of men find misspellings and incorrect grammar to be the biggest text message turn-offs.

HA, SUCKERS! Sure, you can use a the drops of water to signal you’re turned on, but you best not use the wrong form of “you’re” or you ain’t gettin NUN.