The 2013 Kardashian Christmas card has been all over the interwebz in the past few days for several reasons, like the fact that it cost the same as a small condo to get photographer David LaChappelle to shoot the creepy, not-at-all Christmas-y photo. Or the fact that Mason Disick looks like he is dying, or at least saying “for the love of God get me out of here.” Or, of course, the weird Illuminati shit going on all over the creepy dystopian nightmare photo.

But our question? The casting of the card. Clearly, you have to have the three most important most popular Kardashian women. You have to have publicist matriarch Kris Jenner, and the up-and-coming officially sexy Jenner girls. And I guess you need Bruce to keep up appearances, and apparently Mason makes it in cause he’s so good at posing like a sleepy corpse.

But where’s Kanye? Lamar? Scott? Penelope? And of course, WHERE IS ROB?

Well, we can say maybe husbands/boyfriends were barred due to current drama (or refused to be party to this mess). Maybe baby Penelope wasn’t cooperating and God knows you can’t have a screaming ball of meat at a LaChappelle shoot (unless it’s an ACTUAL screaming ball of flesh. That’s just art). But what about Rob? He was in the last few years of unnecessarily over-the-top portraits. So why didn’t he appear this year? I mean he IS one of the only legit Kardashians.

OH WAIT, I KNOW WHY HE WASN’T IN THE PICTURE, BECAUSE HE LOOKS LIKE THIS:

WHOAAAAAA. I mean, hey – we know weight loss is hard. And it’s tough for everyone, not just women, and it’s really terrible to body shame people, so we’re not even gonna make any jokes about Sir Rob’s seemingly wider waistline. But we will say that we wouldn’t be surprised if his new shape is why he didn’t make the cut for the Kardashian glamour shot. Queen Kris probably said “uh-uh, Robbie. Not unless you submit to bone-shaving and lipo.”

What do you think? Did Rob choose not to be in the Christmas card, or was he kicked out? Let us know in the comments!

Image of Rob via http://www.thesuperficial.com/rob-kardashian-fat-12-2013

Kardashian card via Gawker