You got a message from a sexy single on OBC. You chatted back and forth a bit and decided to meet up in person at a local wine bar. You’re excited. Nervous, but ready to get out there!

Before you put on your best shirt, or swipe on your favorite lip gloss, there are a few INNER date-prep steps all singles should have in mind. Of course, everyone is different and what some people like may turn others off, but we’d like to think these following five traits are pretty universally liked.

Be positive

Although some people try and “play it cool” when they first meet a potential mate, there’s definitely a fine line between trying to seem mysterious and being a jerk. Smile, laugh, joke, be nice, and don’t talk down to your date. There’s not much less sexy than condescension and negativity.

Be flexible, but express what you want

This is important both at the dinner table and in the bedroom! If your date asks where you want to go to eat or what movie you want to see, don’t pull the “I don’t know, whatever” card. If you hate spicy food, don’t let your date take you to an Indian restaurant. On the other hand, don’t turn down their idea just because it reminds you of your ex. A good rule of thumb is to scope out a new place and ask if they’d like to give it a whirl. It shows you have opinions, but are down to experiment ;).

Keep conversation light-hearted and casual

Unless you’ve been dating a long time, there’s not much reason to start busting out the controversial or super-personal topics of conversation. After three glasses of wine you might be tempted to bring up politics, but that’s almost never a good idea. Instead, keep it casual without being boring – sibling listing and favorite colors aren’t going to get you anywhere. TV shows and movies as well as sports and strange news stories (like things from our WTF files) are great for getting a fun conversation going.

Bring cash

Ladies, this is for you. It’s 2013. If you’re going on a date, bring cash. Don’t expect the guy to shell out for everything! Maybe say, “hey, if you get dinner, I’ll pick up the movie tab!” There’s always a good chance that your date will want to pay for everything (in that case, SCORE!), but never assume that’s the case, especially if it’s just a casual date. Oh, and obviously, guys – you bring money too. Your mother wouldn’t be proud if you made your date pay for everything.

L-I-S-T-E-N

Some of us (cough me cough) are TERRIBLE at remembering names or just about anything anyone ever says. I think it has a lot to do with being nervous and concentrating on what you’re going to say back, but it really is a bad trait to have. Remember names by always repeating it when you’re introduced (“Sarah? Nice to meet you Sarah”) to get it in your head, and when your date is talking, actually listen instead of thinking about what you’re going to say next. They’ll be more offended if you say “so how old are you again” after they told you twice than they would if you’re response isn’t the wittiest in the world.

Do you have any specific traits that you like or dislike in a date? Let us know in the comments!

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