Good afternoon, y’all. The weekend is so close we can almost taste it, but before you put on those hooker heels and start tossing back tequila shots, let us recap what we’ve learned this week, eh? (Do you like how I started southern and ended Canadian? No? Me neither. Let’s move on.)

We laughed (and cringed) at the Mother’s Day ad from SNL this weekend, featuring alum Kristen Wiig.

Then we laughed and cringed some more when Kanye walked straight into a sign. Clearly Jesus was NOT walking with him.

Then we laughed and cringed A THIRD TIME at The Davinci Code author Dan Brown’s hilariously terrible phone sex song.

This morning we got our groove on with a little UNK/Bob Fosse mashup. So good. SO SO GOOD.

We said “DUH” to the news that Colombian women are thought to be the sexiest on Earth.

On the other hand, though, all-American Heather Graham is looking PRETTY DAMN FINE TOO!

We shared some stories of booty calls turned wedding balls bells in our TestiMOANial Tuesday post.

Planning your own booty call? Whip up one of these meals to get that libido goin!

We asked – would YOU use an online dating coach?

We shared 3 tips for getting the MOST out of your weekend. The clock is already ticking! HURRY! READ IIIIIIITTTT!

Last but not least, we advise you, as always, NOT to rub your genitals on any food before you buy it. Wanna take a pepperoni stick home and have your way with it? Go for it. Just don’t leave it behind for some poor unsuspecting pizza maker. It’s just rude.

Happy weekending, see you on Monday!