Just when I thought that maybe we’re all dummies – the good guys and the bad guys both, someone came around to show me that no, criminals are stil the dumbest.

Meet Bratton Hale Cook III of Tennessee (man those southern states like their name lineages huh?), who got wasted at a restaurant, fell asleep in his plate of french fries, and woke to police officers arresting him for public intoxication and drug possession – because they found weed and pills in his pocket. What an easy arrest, huh? Like taking candy from a drunk baby.

My favorite part of this story, though, is the part where Bratton wakes up and is like “oh shit! Someone got french fries!” and goes back to eating them without noticing there are cops next to him. Let’s be honest, we’ve all woken up in a drunken haze and continued eating our old food. There’s no shame in that.*

(*alright maybe a little)

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