Way, way, WAY back in 2011, we were super excited and simultaneously very grossed out when we heard the new crime trend: hiding things in your vagina. This came on the heels of the much more dangerous (and way less funny) practice of brawling in public, although a majority of its users DID still live in Florida, Land of a Million Nutcases.

It’s been nearly 2 years since our last reported incident of vagina smuggling, so you can imagine our delight when this morning a vag-tastic new story came right into our inbox (that, um…sounds wrong). According to Gawker, 28-year-old Christie Dawn Harris upped the ante by hiding stuff in both her VAGINA AND HER ASS-CRACK.

Harris, who had been complaining to her arresting officers that she needed to go to the bathroom, was ordered to change into “jail clothing,” but refused to do so, claiming she was on her period.

She ultimately agreed to submit to a body cavity search, at which point Officer Kathy Unbewust says she “observed at that time a wooden and metal item sticking out from her vagina area.”

That object turned out to be a Freedom Arms .22-caliber handgun loaded with three live rounds and one spent shell.

That wasn’t all: According to Pontotoc County District Attorney Chris Ross, “as [Harris] turned around, [the officer] noticed more plastic baggies, larger plastic baggies wedged in the crack of her buttocks.” The baggies were found to contain an unspecified quantity of meth.

This honestly might be the first time I’ve even been REMOTELY curious about what it might be like to work in a jail. I mean, the sadness and misery and desperation you encounter everyday must take a toll on your psyche, but on the other hand, some days women come in with guns in their vaginas and meth in their butts. I mean… maybe it is worth it.