Well, it’s here. Valentine’s Day. Ick. It’s like the world smells like roses, which is the 3rd worse scent, behind old fish in a trash can on a hot day, and Elizabeth Taylor White Diamonds. On a day like today, I feel it’s safe to call in sick and avoid work – because someone in your office is going to get roses sent to them, and someone ELSE isn’t going to get roses, and both will be equally insufferable.

So put your pajamas back on, work up a nice phlegmy cough and tell your boss you feel like you’re just “a little under the weather,” and let’s hang out for this wonderful ANTI-Valentine’s Day. Let’s start with a pumped up version of the recent YouTube sensation, “The Harlem Shake,” courtesy of rock band Matt & Kim.