Valentine’s Day is but 3 days away, which means hordes of impressionable men and women are hastily making reservations at restaurants and shelling out ungodly sums of money for chocolate, wine, and jewelry, all because some saint married soldiers during the Roman Empire or something. We at OBC would rather spend our Valentine’s Day eating fast food while watching Wonder Years reruns, and then gettin’ our post-V-day chocolate on the next day once the candy goes on sale. Because who needs a day to celebrate love when you do it e’ry damn day?!

The enterprising folks over at SeekingArrangements did a little poll asking their members about the romantic holiday, and ended up with some interesting data. For example, they found that 77% of guys who participate in Valentine’s Day traditions are only doing it for the chance of gettin’ booty. They also found that getting laid has a price – literally:

Single: $257: Dinner or Activity

Married: $203: Presents

Committed Relationship: $180: Presents

so on average, it costs a guy $218 to have sex on Valentine’s Day. Um, NO THANKS. Stay tuned this week for OBC’s own tips for an awesome UN-Valentines Day, so you don’t have to shell out 2 Benjamins for the off-chance of seeing some underboob.

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