Look, I like the environment. Maybe even more that most people. I go to farmers markets and I sometimes buy organic stuff if it’s on sale and because I am a stay-at-home blogger, I hardly ever pollute the earth with my car’s fumes. Unless it’s cold and I need to go to the corner market. In fact, I once even made a concerted effort to start composting. For what reason, I don’t know – I sure as hell can’t grow anything. That’s probably why the effort died after a month.

However, The Fertile Earth Foundation and their movement to get people to compost their own feces and urine is NOT REALLY MY CUP OF TEA OH GOD WHY DID I SAY CUP OF TEA EW EW EW. I mean, there is a line, and people sometimes toe the line, but the FEF have hopped into a cannon, lit the fuse, and BLEW THEMSELVES 459 MILES OVER THE LINE.

It’s disgusting, and repulsive and makes me gag and

-on the other hand, they’re selling calendars of naked women on the toilet, so…

TO WHOM DO I WRITE THIS CHECK?