It’s Wednesday morning, which calls fo-

NARCISSISM ALERT! NARCISSISM ALERT! NARCISSISM ALERT! NARCISSISM ALERT! NARCISSISM ALERT! NARCISSISM ALERT!

OH NO! We have an extreme code red narcissism alert! Let’s check it out.

While on the Howard Stern show this morning, Nick Cannon admitted that sometimes he and Mariah have sex while listening to her music. Which is kinda weird and super narcissistic and makes my stomach feel icky just to think about, especially when you picture them doing in in this room. Even worse thand the narcissism, though? What came next:

Yep, Nick Cannon MASTURBATES while listening to his wife’s 80s tunes. And HERO???? I mean, that song is like, 8th grade graduation procession music, or cry in your room because you dot dumped music, not mmm, yeah, alone in the house I’m gonna stroke one out music. Picturing Nick Cannon lighting candles, drinking white wine, and putting that song on for a 3 minute jerk sesh has just ruined my day.

RUINED.