Wooo! WOOOOO! It’s Friday! Stretch out those limbs, brush those doughnut crumbs from your jacket, and let’s go from work mode to weekend mode, shall we? It’s been a big week in America, with Election 2012 finally coming to an end and a new era about to begin. Now that your mailbox and commercial breaks aren’t being jammed full of political ads, you can finally get back to thinking about what’s truly important: gettin’ some boo-tay this weekend!

However, it’s easy after such an exciting week to get caught up in the post-election politics talk, even though we’ve all been saying “THANK GOD IT’S ALMOST OVER” since September. So this weekend, as you’re chatting up the single ladies and gents, remember these key Dos and Don’ts partying on election weekend. That way, at 4 am you’ll find yourself in round 4 with a sexy singeton, instead of round 4 of waffles in a greasy spoon diner with a homeless person, telling them why we should legalize marijuana.

DO be prepared to talk politics

Even if you’re like me, who just wishes Will Smith would erase everyone’s memory of Decision 2012, you WILL be placed in a situation where people are discussing the election. Instead of throwing up your hands in surrender and going home to watch Family Guy with your cat, just accept it and go with the flow. By next week people will have forgotten the other candidates’ names (“yeah well that Matt Ramsey DID have some good points…”), and you’ll be back to debating whether Hayden Panettiere got a boob job or not. Even if you don’t have anything to say, sit back, daydream of Hayden’s rack, and smile and nod to show you’re “listening”.

DON’T be the one to bring it up

If by some miraculous chance you DON’T find yourself in an election conversation, for the love of God don’t start it. Enjoy the fact that you’re in a relatively rage-free zone, and get back to discussing Soulja boy’s dick pic. No one likes the guy that says, “SO HEY, HOW ‘BOUT THAT OBAMA, HUH?” Even if you’re with a group of people who share the same politics, you’re guaranteed to perk the ears of the one drunk nut-job in the corner who will argue with you about everything from gun laws to women’s suffrage. Thank your lucky stars you avoided the dreaded post-election conversations, and move. On.

DO be a good listener

Asking people open-ended questions is a great way to get a more intimate conversation out of a group. If there’s a particular lady or guy at the table who has piqued your interest, feel free to take a lull in the conversation and ask them what they think about the subject. A question like, “I’m still not sure how I feel about the idea of universal healthcare… what do you think?” will either spark a person’s interest, OR will give you both the opportunity to vent about how talking politics is the worst. Just remember – the more open-ended, the less likely someone is to feel on the spot. Pointing at someone and saying, “HEY, YOU DON’T APPROVE OF TRICKLE DOWN WEALTH, DO YOU???” is probably not a great pick up line.

DON’T be condescending

Even if you’ve researched a subject to its very core, and your conversation mate (and potential future booty call) has absolutely zero clue what they are talking about, a bar or nightclub is NOT the place to get into a heated debate. In very rare scenarios this leads to fantastic, angry hate sex – but until you know that, there is no reason to tell the hottie on the bar stool next to you that her opinions are as worthless as a Zimbabwe dollar. Just listen, share your opinion, and throw out the old “agree to disagree.” Then ask if they’d like to continue the conversation with a nightcap at your place, where, you know, it’s just much quieter and I’d really love to hear more.

Even if you’re not super knowledgeable about politics, even if you thought that affirmative action was a playing mode in Call of Duty, you can still use this weekend as a great opportunity to meet other singles who share your opinion about things and potentially gain a new friend (with benefits?). Just remember, use protection, and if possible, double-down. Politics don’t matter in the bedroom… until they do.

image via AprilBraswell