Did anybody stay up late enough to watch Obama’s acceptance speech last night? It was LAAAAATE, dude! All you on the East Coast were hanging on till past 1 am, and my old decrepit body was just barely keeping from dozing off at 10:30. However, once Mitt Romney finally conceded (and made what is probably the most pained, clenched-butthole speech in political history), Barack Hussein Obama was at the podium, kick-starting what we can only hope will be a more successful next four years.

Also, Washington and Colorado passed a ballot initiatives legalizing recreational use of marijuana, so… pack your bags, 48 other states. (Or 49 other states? HOLLA TO MY HERMANOS IN PUERTO RICOOOOOOO!)