This is probably as relevant to BCU as a poop stain is to a Miss America Pageant (good comparison or BEST comparison?), but I just had to share the mind-blowingly disappointing news that George Lucas has officially sold Lucasfilm to Disney for a CRAZY-BALLS price of $4.05 BILLION. And now the production of Star Wars, Episode VII, is slated for release in 2015, because “the last Star Wars movie release was 2005’s Revenge Of The Sith – and we believe there’s substantial pent-up demand.” HAHAHAHA, OH MAN. What in the actual F*CK is going on in the world?

I’m not generally one to use the term “sold out.” I mean, who cares if a band creates a great song and then makes money off of it by loaning it to car commercials? Who CARES if an actor wants to pimp out some product they probably don’t actually use? Not me, that’s who. Except for now, because George Lucas actually, LITERALLY, SOLD HIS SOUL OUT. And this is after creating Episodes I – III of Star Wars, that were pretty much unwatchable, as well as that Indiana Jones crapfest with Shia LeBeouf that was the first movie I ever walked out of.

OH! OH! And speeeeeaking of Indiana Jones, Disney gets the rights to that too. So prepare for a new installment: Indiana Jones and the Abstinence Warriors, starring Selena Gomez and that kid that played Beans in Even Stevens.

You know, with Hurricane Sandy attempting to rip the entire Northeast off the map, and child molesters getting their own TV shows, and now THIS? That December 21, 2012 prophecy might actually be correct. I’d start stocking up on beans if I were you.

Image and story via Deadline