TWO DAYS TOO LATE, EVA. We JUST awarded you the week’s illustrious Hump Day Hottie spot and then two days later you do THIS?! WE SHOULD REVOKE YOUR AWARD FOR NOT LETTING THIS LEAK EARLIER.

According to the Daily Mail, the gorgeous, 37-year-old Latina bombshell is being featured in Jork Weisman’s (haha, Jork) new coffee table book (barf) called Asleep at the Chateau (double barf). The book also contains images of Orlando Bloom, Justin Theroux and Usher, but who cares, I definitely don’t, because LOOK AT THIS PICTURE:

Um, good MORNING, Eva Longoria.

With a title like “Asleep at the Chateau,” and the fact that it is a “coffee table book,” I imagine Jork (haha) wanted this to be artistic and thought-provoking and emotional, but COME ON. It’s Eva Longoria’s butt. I’m pretty sure the only emotion this will bring up is the boner-motion.

Look at her! It’s like you can just imagine waking up next to her. Like, she probably doesn’t even have morning breath, and her hair is still perfect even though she just took a shower and went to bed with wet hair, and also she ordered you breakfast room service with your favorite, eggs benedict, and surprises you with a bottle of champagne because it’s Sunday and why not, and you lay in bed and watch football all day while she caters to your every whim wearing only a man’s white button-up.

Or, you know, she just posed for a picture in a coffee table book. Either way, daayyyyyyumn.