File this under “a study that should never have happened because now a bunch of dummies are gonna get chlamydia.” According to study by researchers at SUNY Albany, women who partake in unprotected sex (or ORAL SEX, WHY COULDN’T THEY HAVE TITLED IT THAT) are often happier than their peers who do not.

The researchers suggest that semen may contain many “mood altering chemicals” like oxytocin and estrone, which can boost women’s moods and can even act as an anti-depressant.

Via Gawker:

Using data obtained from an anonymous survey of 293 females on campus, Gordon Gallup and Rebecca Burch, working alongside University of Liverpool psychologist Steven Platek, were able to determine that women who engage in oral sex or have unprotected sex on a regular basis were happier than those who practiced safe sex.

To measure the mood of survey participants, Gallup, Burch, and Platek had the women complete the Beck Depression Inventory, which is a standard clinical test used to assess depressive symptoms.

Of all their findings, perhaps the most interesting was the discovery that sexually active women who usually or always used condoms were on par in their unhappiness with women who abstained from sex altogether.

UHHHHHH, okay SUNY. Isn’t there a fairly decent possibility that the women who are using condoms are unhappy because they are partaking in one-night stands, instead of a safe and trusted booty call or monogamous sexual relationship? Isn’t is possible that these sad, condom-using women are depressed because they’re getting drunk and hooking up with frat dudes and people at bars, instead of meeting them in safe, sober environment? If women using condoms are as unhappy as women who are totally abstinent, maybe it has more to do with self-esteem issues than the minuscule amounts of mood-enhancing chemicals in the 1/4 cup of semen they are exposed to. I don’t know, I’m not a scientist. But it sure seems possible.

img courtesy of Bossip