I realized recently that when coming back from a weekend of partying, hanging out with friends, getting booty, and ignoring the interwebz altogether, many of us miss out on the top news of the weekend. Fast-forward to next weekend, and someone is like “hey did you hear about the new Mars Rover landing safely? Huge news, huh?!” and you’re like “uhhhhh,” and then POOF, bye-bye booty call opportunity.

We at OBC decided to help you out a bit on Monday mornings, with a little weekend news roundup to help you brush up on your current events knowledge. So NEXT time, you will answer, “yes, the Curiosity rover is sure to give us a fantastically in-depth look onto the surface of Mars, and did you see that video of the NASA staff at touch-down? SO heartwarming.” And then POOF: knockin’ boots.

So yep – the new Mars Rover, Curiosity, landed safely, and will be sending photos back to Earth. GO NASA!

Sir Elton John called Madonna a “fairground stripper” and a “c*nt,” and it made me laugh.

LONDON OLYMPICS, 2012 news:
The women’s triathalon competition came down to a shocking photo finish
Usain Bolt is still a freak of nature
Michael Phelps earns his 18th gold medal (and uses it to get laid)
The US women’s gymnastics team kicks ass (but Gabby Douglas’ hair is just as important)
Serena Williams crip walks her way to a championship.
Oh, and the North and South Korean table tennis competitors shook hands.

Prepare for a loss of faith in humanity: this nutjob white supremacist shot up a Sikh temple in Wisconsin, killing seven and wounding three.

Amanda Bynes may have just been involved in Hit and Run numero 4. What a little sh*t.