29-year-old Kelsey Smith of (SHOCKER!) Daytona, FL, was so uncontrollable when police brought him in on suspicion of driving under the influence last Tuesday, that they had to hold his head in place for the mugshot, giving us this masterpiece:

Doesn’t it look like it should be the cover for a Michael Moore movie about the state of the American prison system? Or a horror movie about a prisoner who ends up murdering half the inmates? Or a Larry The Cable Guy movie called Larry the Cable Guy, Health Inspector 2: Southern Enclosure, a straight-to-TBS movie?

Happy Tuesday everyone. Let’s celebrate that we’re not that guy.