I hate to say it, but I am immediately suspicious of any venue that is required to use hotel elevator music as the background music for their commercial, and of creepy, bald, earring-ed South African dudes smoking cigars. Does that make me racist?

Truth be told, a nightclub with the same gorgeous imagery and colors that the land in Avatar had would be pretty rad. But if you ask me, this place just looks like a black-lit room full of furniture discarded from failed Vegas bars. In fact, I’m surprised that they even went with black lights because you can probably see the semen stains all over the loveseats. Needless to say, I probably will not be venturing to South Africa anytime soon to visit Avastar. Maybe I’m being stupid though, why WOULDN’T I want to check out a place with waitresses as bangin’ hot as these ladies:

Perfect 10s, all across the board. Especially you, Mike Basson!