Have you ever tried camping sex? It’s quite possibly one of the most fun, exciting types of hook ups one can imagine. Something about being in the great outdoors and enjoying nature’s best gift to mankind is exhilarating in a way I bet is only beat by skydiving and swimming with sharks (neither of which I will ever do).

However, I’m not sure that Cosmo’s outdoor sex tip is exactly the best locale choice when deciding to get frisky al fresco. Their “canoe canoodle” sex position looks not only uncomfortable, but dangerous to boot. Check it out:

Yeah, um. I don’t know about you, but something tells me that thrusting back and forth in a vehicle that is NOTORIOUS FOR FLIPPING OVER WITHOUT NOTICE (seriously, YouTube has at least 1000 videos) might not be a great idea. And if you use Cosmo’s safety tip to “take it nice and slow” and “do it close enough to the shore that you can swim back,” you’ll either be in for a boring or HUMILIATING sexual experience.

Plus, I imagine the writers of Cosmo have never actually ridden in either a canoe or a rowboat, because the bottoms of said boats are, as a rule, hard as hell and just damp enough to be uncomfortable. NO. THANKS.

I’m a huge fan of the outdoor romp, but I’d say skip “the canoe canoodle,” or your sexytime might turn into a type of “wet” that’s NOT fun.