Every morning, while I’m drinking my morning liquid cocaine coffee and perusing the interwebz for sex and dating news, I tend to look for stories that agree with our side – you know, that casual dating and staying single longer is healthy, and waiting for marriage is smart, both mentally and financially, and that sex is good for you in just about 1000 ways.

But sometimes I just have to report the bad news along with the good, and this is one of those times. According to PsychologyToday, that wonderful little thing we call make up sex isn’t as awesome as we all thought. Dr. Seth Meyers (not the one I’m in love with, by the way) has written an article in which he claims that make up sex can actually hurt a relationship more than it benefits it. He believes that the intimacy a couple feels after a hate-fueled romp in the hay is false, and “it’s not that different from an addict who needs a hit of cocaine.”

Although I agree that make up sex has on many occasions been so awesome it felt like there were drugs involved, I think Dr. Meyer’s statement is a bit, shall we say, hyperbolic. For one, cocaine is a felony grade substance of which the possession of could lead to a prison sentence, and for two, BULLSHIT.

Dr. Meyers goes on to say that couples who engage in make up sex frequently will likely find themselves more lonely and upset after the encounter and that it shows that a couple is more focused on drama and fantasy than having a successful relationship. As a person who knows a couple that break up and get back together at least 12 times a week, I can confirm that this is true. While I’m sure their make up sex is filthy amazing, their dramatic ups and downs when they’re not in the bedroom are straight up unbearable to be around. You know this couple. We all know this couple. In fact, I should forward this on to that couple (although I’m sure it would lead to a fight which would lead to more make up sex. Que sera sera.).

Dr. Meyer’s advice on the subject, though, is where this article becomes a train wreck of epic proportions:

Should you find yourself in the middle of a sexual encounter and suddenly realize that you feel confused, angry or sad, gently pull back and explain to your partner that you want to stop and try again later. If your partner pushes you to explain in that moment exactly what’s going on with you, simply say “I’m not sure, but I know that it’ll make sense to me a little later.”

That is undoubtedly the WORST ADVICE I HAVE EVER READ FROM A DOCTOR, and I once had one tell me that I should wear my hair curly more often. Pulling away in the middle of a mutually amazing sex session with a vague, passive-aggressive excuse for why you want to stop? I’m sure that will benefit the relationship, and will not erupt into a fight even more potent than the last that could likely end in a break up. I’m SURE.

This has been your Tuesday morning dose of terrible news. Wash your mouth out with Listerine and let’s forget this ever happened.

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