After about 18 hours of sleep, I have finally recovered enough from the weekend’s festivities to share some news, re-caps, reviews, and the occasional unrelated video because my brain is still a little scrambled-egg-like.

First off – GERARD BUTLER DEFINITELY HAD SEX WITH A RANDOM IN A PORTA-POTTY AT COACHELLA.

According to The Superficial, the 300 star, who is just weeks out of rehab, showed up to the Coachella Valley Music Festival on a good one, dancing with DJs, hanging with friends, and looking all sorts of efffffeeeddddd up. But on top of that, reports are now surfacing that Butler hooked up with a lady in one of Coachella’s many vomit-inducing porta-potties.

Butler led his mystery brunette out into the open air for a seductive slow dance in an empty patch of pavement. “The two were grinding like they were at a middle school dance,” says our spy. “He didn’t seem to care who was watching.” After their spin, our spy watched Butler accompany his dance partner to the Porta-Potties before they returned to the carnival-themed bash.

While showing up to a drug-and-alcohol-fueled party-fest might not be the best vacation for a guy who just turned in his rehab name badge, we gotta give credit to Gerard for making the best out of the most disgusting bathrooms in the history of mankind.