As a music lover who is just days away from heading out to the desert for the 3-day sh*t show that is the Coachella Valley Music Festival, I have to admit I feel for this girl at Ultra Music Fest. She’s probably out of her mind on several types of drugs and alcohol, has lost her friends, and has decided that this tall dark and handsome individual might be the man of her dreams. The insignificant fact that the handsome stranger is a palm tree has yet to occur to her, but it probably will at the exact same time she realizes that 50 people filmed her and uploading the video to YouTube.

As a person who has, on several occasions, been filmed by friends performing less than graceful drunken shenanigans, my heart goes out to this tree-fondler. Remember, girlfriend, shame is a like a grass stain. Not permanent, but takes more than a few washes to get out. And hey – at least she LOOKS good, right? No?