There’s a lot we love about the Brits: their accents, their drinking age, their ingenious idea to pair fried fish with french fries… but this is definitely not one of them. According to Jezebel, two separate British writers have taken to their columns to claim that getting married earlier is better, and that remaining single into your thirties is a recipe for disaster. And to that I say, go to ‘ell, you bloody wankers (is that right?).

Andrew G. Marshall, a marital therapist writing for the Times of London, says that

“If you marry later, you are more likely to bring old baggage into your relationship.” He also believes that people who get married later have higher expectations and that if you get married in your late thirties, there’s “the need to start a family almost immediately.”

Um, is this guy under the impression that we live in the 1950s, when having children at 40 was practically a death sentence? Luckily for us (and unbeknownst to Mr. Marshall), that’s not the case, and thousands of women in the US are having babies at 40 or even later. And even if you did feel the “need to start a family,” is that such a bad thing? If you’ve spent a majority of your young life single, having fun, travelling and meeting new people, what’s the harm in starting a family once you get married?

And then we have Stefanie Marsh, who seems to be taken her own fears of spinsterhood out on the reader of her story, claiming that

There’s a myth being perpetuated that being single is great! The loneliness, the effort, that musty smell in your flat because you spend far too much time in it, the fact that children think you’re weird – that’s all in your mind. A fabrication. You’re not bored, you just think you’re bored because being single is fabulous!”

Uh, the only true statement in that whole paragraph is the last four words: being single IS fabulous! Ms. Marsh appears to believe that being single is a recipe for loneliness, despite the fact that singletons have friends and family with whom to spend more time, unlike their relationship-ed peers that tend to ignore their friendships and lose touch with family members because their time is so filled with couple business.

As you might have guessed, we wholeheartedly disagree with both of these British writers, whose fear of singlehood might propel young adults to get married quickly, without considering the repercussions of a marriage that started on a pretense of fear of being alone.

To those who haven’t been swayed by the words of these British nutters, we say DON’T DO IT! BEING SINGLE IS AWESOME! You’re only young once, so why not spend it having fun?