Look, I totally agree that pregnant women are beautiful, amazing works of nature. They aren’t gross or unsexy or anything like that, in fact a woman about to pop is about as close as witnessing creation as you can get (unless you’re in the delivery room, in which case NO THANKS, SORRY). However, this video of ex-pop singer/reality star Jessica Simpson is one of those things that makes people say “pregnancy? EWWW.”

No offense to the soon-to-be mother, but talking about your amniotic fluid and saying it’s going to “burst like a fire hydrant” and that it feels like there is a “bowling ball sitting on my hoo-ha” is NOT THE WAY TO SHARE NEW ABOUT YOUR PREGNANCY. In a year when J-Simp is back to her pre-baby weight and looking as gorgeous as ever, I’ll still only be imagining a greasy bowling ball spewing forth like a fire hose from her nether regions. UUGGGHHHHHH. Need eye bleach NOW.