It’s not my birthday, but I thought my twenty-don’tworryaboutit might have come early when I heard that conservative “journalist” and certified evil-a**hole Andrew Breitbart passed away of natural causes this morning at 43. I am not one to celebrate the death of any human being, but I am relieved to know that no one will have to listen to this sniveling creep (who was responsible for outing Anthony Weiner, among other things) ever again. Plus, as a person who referred to senator Ted Kennedy as a “villain”, a “duplicitous bastard”, a “prick” and “a special pile of human excrement” just hours after his death, I have no qualms about sharing my honest opinion of the dude.

ANNNNNNYWAY, happy early birthday to us all, and especially to this lovely lady, whose friends clearly know how to ring in a birthday celebration: by giving her a concussion.