It’s a classic story of boy meets girl, they fall in love, boy proposes, boy calls off wedding, girl says she’s pregnant, couple gets back together. Just like in all the fairy tales!

According to TheSuperficial, reality starlet Kristen Cavallari and Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler’s delighted baby announcement might not be all that it seems. After sharing with the world that it was an “amazing time in our life,” Cutler took to Twitter to awkwardly mention that “for the record I never broke up with Kristin. Its unfortunate some people are saying hurtful things during such a joyous moment in our life.”

Uhhh… okay, I guess, whatever, just wanted to throw that out there I guess. But then it was followed by a cryptic (and creepy), “Say a man were to gnaw through a human leg for shits and giggles? What kind of sauce would you recommend? Or maybe just a dry rub?”

Seems like a totally normal thing to Tweet, right? It couldn’t possibly have to do with the fact that he banged his ex and she conveniently forgot to take birth control and then woopsiedoodle got preggers and then YIKES decided to guilt him into getting back together and now he’s harboring some deep-seeded anger issues that would make him want to EAT A PERSON, right? Nah. I’m sure it was just a hypothetical thing.

Also hypothetically speaking – Kristen, you might want to go into Witness Protection.