I will be headed to Las Vegas, NV in exactly 15 days to watch and report on the Manny Pacquiao vs Juan Manuel Marquez fight at the MGM Grand Hotel. Due to this forthcoming event, one might refer to my diet as “terrifying” or “probably going to kill you.” But hey, if I learned anything from Full House, it’s that two weeks of fasting and working out too hard might make you faint on a treadmill but that’s about it.

Because of the aforementioned diet, my cravings for such foods as bacon, Cheetohs, Fritos, Doritos (and any other -itos), candy, chocolate, massive carne asada platters, and just about any other type of bad-for-you food are through the damn ROOF. Just seeing a cheeseburger on someone’s table gives me the shakes. That being said, here is something called a Creamy Bacon Donut from FoodBeast.com, which is “a glazed donut split as a sandwich bun, filled with bacon, cream, blueberries, pineapple pieces and strawberries.”

I’m going to pass out.