One time, my “friend” went to this sex shop. She had big plans for the night, so she wandered the aisles and was shocked (SHOCKED!) to realize at the cash register that she had managed to spend $250 at this sex shop. My “friend” couldn’t believe that she’d racked up that kind of bill at a store whose most expensive items are like, fifty bucks. My FRIEND has been much more discerning in her sex shop purchases since then.

Such a story wouldn’t happen to music superstar Rihanna, who was seen stopping into Paris sex shop Lovestore last week and walking out having slapped down $1,500 on sexy items. The singer, who was photographed holding an Ellen van Unwerth book on her way out, and “seemed to be in a hurry to get back to her hotel,” according to the NewYorkPost.

I guess if I had the kind of dough to blow over a grand on gold encrusted dildos I’d be “grinning from ear to ear” too. I mean, my FRIEND would. Not me. My friend.