Remember MadLibs? The awesome game where you made up hilariously nonsensical stories by inserting random (usually poop-related) words into otherwise normal stories to make them totally ABSURD? That’s how I feel about this next crime story, featuring a couple arguing over freezer space.

According to the Smoking Gun, Edna Verdin became F***ING FURIOUS on Sunday night when she found that her boyfriend, Jerry Voisin, had not left enough space in their LOUISIANA home’s FREEZER so that she could STORE her TEQUILA ROSE, a STRAWBERRY CREAM LIQUEUR, that she is apparently very fond of. To teach him a lesson, Edna removed one of his FROZEN STEAKS from the FREEZER and FLUNG it at his HEAD, leaving a WIDE GASH ON HIS FOREHEAD.

Doesn’t that sound like a MadLib? Like someone removed all the normal words and replaced them with ridiculous ones? Let’s see what it might look like if it was a normally written statement:

Edna Verdin became slightly irritated on Sunday night when she found that her boyfriend, Jerry Voisin, had not left enough space in their California home’s garage so that she could park her car, a Ford Explorer that she is apparently very fond of. To teach him a lesson, Edna removed one of his cars from the garage and parked it on the street, leaving a space for her own vehicle.

Alas, that is not the case. This story is just plain nuts.