If you haven’t heard, the comic book Ultimate Spider-Man has done the unthinkable – they killed off Peter Parker and replaced him with a (GASP) half-back, half-Latino kid names Miles Morales. In the comic world, this is big news. Peter Parker was a beloved character and many people are sad to see him go, even though Ultimate Spider-Man isn’t regular Spiderman, it’s actually like, an alternate universe of Spiderman but whatever whatever nerd nerd nerd.

Of course, with such a shocking event, we have to interview the REAL heroes – racist hicks on Facebook who don’t realize their profiles are totally public on the site youropenbook.org. After last month’s riveting piece on the best reactions to the US losing the World Cup to Japan, BuzzFeed just knew that there had to be some racist gems in the bowels of Facebook statuses, and BOY WERE THEY RIGHT.

Check out our top 5 below, and for even more hate-filled rants, go to Buzzfeed.