At the San Diego Padres stadium, there is a crew of men that come out during the seventh inning stretch and rake the sand in the field (this may be a common occurrence in baseball but I wouldn’t know because ick, baseball). One of these men decided a few years back that it would be funny to drop his rake for a moment and start dancing to the music that was playing. Everyone laughed like they’d never seen an underpaid black man dance before. OH, HOW THEY LAUGHED. So now, every time that guy goes out to rake during the seventh inning stretch, he stops mid-rake and dances. And everyone laughs, and laughs.

This situation would be all great and fine and dandy if it weren’t for the fact that the rest of the poor underpaid rake pushers have to cover for his slack, because they were never clever enough to come up with the spur-of-the-moment, silly idea to do the butterfly dance in the middle of 60,000 people. I imagine that those other rake pushers are brainstorming ways to murder that man, or at least render his knee-caps immobile. That showboating, dancing rake pusher is probably the most hated rake-pusher in the entire rake-pushing union, and he’s probably developed a rock star ego to match.

All I’m saying is, dancing security guard, is that you better watch your back.