Are fireworks legal in your state? They aren’t legal in California. So obviously, I definitely didn’t illegally obtain hundreds of dollars worth of weapons-grade explosives last weekend, and I definitely didn’t sneak into a park last night to light them off, because that is illegal, you know? So I definitely didn’t do that.

Especially because THIS could have happened had I lit off fireworks last night, which I didn’t, because it is both illegal and unsafe.