Sometimes I think the term WTF is a little bit played out. Of all the internet abbreviations, that one is the most often exploited, especially by out-of-touch dads and teenagers afraid to cuss in front of their teachers. It might be time we come up with a new abbreviation to exemplify our collective disgust at the gross things on the interwebs. Something like “TLI” – “Time to Leave the Internet,” or “NTY” – “NO THANK YOU” might make more sense these days.

However, for our monthly reports of the freakiest, most unsettling search terms that lead to this blog, WTF just seems to fit so well. Check out this months best and try not to vomit.

1. “Vagina Snuggie”

Now, up until yesterday I might have been a little more weirded out by this, however, a friend celebrated his birthday yesterday and received a joke gift of a Tuggie, a Snuggie-like product that fits around a dude’s junk. However, being that the Snuggie is inherently supposed to WRAP around an object, I’m not exactly sure how you’d make one for a vajayjay. On the other hand, perhaps they meant that the vagina is like a Snuggie, in which case yes, yes it is.

2. “Can you kill a girl by having sex”

Well, check that off the bucket list – there is officially a murderer who reads BCU. Good to know. Officers, I KNOW NOTHING.

3. “i love meat”

So many options! Was this Googler wondering why he had an unquenchable desire for lamb loin? Was she just looking for others out there who loved a medium-rare ribeye that might want to go on a date? Did a small child accidentally find themselves unsupervised on the internet and type in the first thing they thought of (if so dear GOD I hope they didn’t read too much of this blog)? Or is there someone, male or female out there, who really loves penis? Something tells me it’s that last one.

4. “beanbag sex”

I hope someone types that again and finds their way to this page. I will answer that question for you in three words: LOUD, AWKWARD, MESSY.

5. “vagina urinal”

Like the “vagina snuggie” searcher, I am not sure that this person understands the physics of vaginas. So for this person, let me help you out a bit: vaginas are INSIDE the body, whereas penises are OUTSIDE the body; this is why urinals are specifically engineered for a body part that can be aimed. There is no such thing as a “vagina urinal”, and as a person who may or may not have once attempted to use a urinal I can tell you it is neither fun nor easy nor clean. Perhaps you were looking for this: The Go Girl, a totally creepy reusable product which allows women to pee standing up. And if that’s the case, you’re on your own, girlfriend. Creep away.

And this week, a sixth search term, which I debated adding because of its sheer nasty-ness. I will only add it under the strict circumstance that I will not add any commentary. The number one grossest, most WTF BCU search term of June is:

6. GANGRENE VAGINA

Have a nice day.