Last week, I received this question from an OBC damsel in distress:

Dear Professor,

I met a studly guy here on OBC, but sadly, he is going away to Iraq next month. Do you have any tips to make this long distance booty call work?

– anonymous

Dear long distance BootyCall,

We all know that long distance relationships, whether they are between friends, lovers, or bootycallers, can be difficult to manage, but don’t trip! With OBC you can always keep things sexy, despite the distance. Be sure to support him by sending not only bootycall messages, but mix it up with some pictures as well. Soldiers appreciate having images, memories, they can fall back to during tough times. Plus, despite the distance, you’ll keep that booty attraction on slow burn, so when he gets back, you can turn up the heat and get that sizzle goin.

— The Professor —