In the dog eat dog world of Dumb Criminal Offs, the stakes are continually pushed to the limits of stupidity, making each week more and more difficult for the competitors. Especially when you have a state like Florida, which is the New York Yankees of borderline retardation, it’s tough for any other states to take the crown. Luckily, this week we have two contenders who aren’t from Florida (as far as I know), and they are both on the leaderboard for World’s Dumbest Criminal. Let’s check them out.

First up we have this great video shot by YouTuber Sean Symons (who is apparently aspiring to be the next Steven Seagal, or something) who noticed a teen in the car ahead of him texting while driving and swerving pretty intensely in the road. In the span of the minute long video, you watch this IDIOT ahead of him pull right and left and nearly hit multiple cars before finally careening off the edge of the road. Now, there hasn’t been an official report on who the driver was, what the injuries were, or if any charges have been filed, but for all intents and purposes, this is a DUMB ASS CRIMINAL. Reckless driving and endangering the life of dozens of drivers as well as himself, all because he was too excited to tell his friend about getting his first BJ, which probably lasted 30 seconds. Idiot.

And of course, from the second place idiot breeding state of Arizona, is Randon Reid, who was arrested on Sunday for getting all gun happy at an airport and shooting at a private plane that was parked on the tarmac doing absolutely nothing. According to reports, officers near a Deer Valley airport heard gunshots going off and sped to the scene, where they managed to catch the license plate off a car driving away. After investigating the shells found on the ground and gunshot holes in the plane, they tracked down the vehicle to the house and arrested Reid, who then graced us with the best mugshot of the year, seen above.

Reid was charged with aggravated DUI and felony flight, but we’re charging him with looking exactly like Beavis from Beavis and Butthead. Good luck getting a date after this one, dummy.