Let’s take a walk down memory lane, shall we? Back to a sweeter time, a more innocent time, before celebrities were giving people herpes and Charlie Sheen was touring the country… back to a time when we were only making fun of Real Housewife of New Jersey and nutjob Danielle Staub for this UNWATCHABLE performance on Good Morning America. Who’d have thought that in less than a year’s time, we’d be shrieking in terror because the MOTHER OF TWO has decided that she’d like to start stripping now.

The reality “star,” who is known for “deciding to be gay”, having a sex tape, and possibly being a coke dealer and FBI informant , has signed a three year deal with Score’s Gentleman’s Nightclub in New York City to do a live performance and occasionally appear on the club’s live website feed. TMZ has acquired a few shots of the 48-year-old (that’s nearly 50, mind you) performing at the nightclub, so if you’re into half-human, half-grasshoppers with wonky boobs and dead eyes, click right over and check out the full set. They are… to be kind… unsettling.